Philadelphia 76ers: For just today, we are all Wizards fans

Normally, I’m not a fan of the Washington Wizards.

I don’t like their lack of defensive fundamentals, their new name, their old name for that matter, or the fact that they continue to hold an in his prime Bradley Beal hostage while fielding increasingly mediocre supporting casts.

But today, May 20th, 2020, I’ll be rooting for the Wizards like, well, like they are the Philadelphia 76ers because a win over the Indiana Pacers secures them the eighth seed in the playoffs and a one-way ticket to the City of Brotherly Love for what could be a four-game cakewalk to the second round.

Don’t believe me? Would you rather see Indiana in a four-gamer? Well, that’d be your prerogative, but the numbers are in my favor on this one.

The Philadelphia 76ers just match up better against the Washington Wizards.

More from Section 215

How many teams are in the NBA?

30.

What do the Washington Wizards rank in average points allowed per game?

30th.

Need I say more?

… yes? Okay then.

The Washington Wizards are a team who likes to play fast. They rank first in pace, third in points scored per game, and feature one of the best offensive guards in the NBA by the name of Bradley Beal.

On paper, that’s a pretty tough act to follow, right? Especially for a team like the Philadelphia 76ers, who rank near the middle of the pack in both pace and points scored. But when you consider the Sixers rank top-six in points allowed, defensive rating, Net rating, SRS, and points allowed, facing off against a fast, score-happy offense who can’t stop a cold, let alone the Jaylen Brown-less Boston Celtics, becomes a whole lot less daunting.

If anything, it denotes a clear path to the second round and a winnable matchup against either the Atlanta Hawks or the New York Knicks.

Can the Philadelphia 76ers still beat the Indiana Pacers? Most definitely, for all of the things the Pacers do fundamentally well, they are still a woefully undermanned club versus a team as deep as the Sixers. I’m just saying the Wizards present an easier matchup for a few key reasons.

Like the Wizards, the Pacers prefer to play fast, as they rank fifth in pace, but they win games with much more balanced efforts at both ends of the court. While their offensive rating only ranks 14th league-wide, which is three spots below the Sixers, they score an average of 115.3 points per game which ranks sixth league-wide. Granted, they also give up an average of 115.3 points per game, which ranks 25th and is a full 7.2 points more than the Sixers allow, but still, when you face off against the Pacers, you need to come ready for a fight.

Need proof? Look at the Sixers’ win-loss record versus the Pacers this season, which, *spoiler alert* isn’t great when compared to their outings against Washington. Even with important players missing action in most of the team’s 2020-21 contests versus Indiana, the Sixers have been stifled at times by the Pacers’ defensive efforts and could be forced into more of a series against a team with a head coach on the hot seat.

The Sixers would surely still win that matchup fairly easily by comparison to every other Round 1 series on the slate thus far, but the fewer games the team needs to play to get through the playoffs, the better, especially with Brooklyn looming just over the horizon.

Still not convinced that May 20th should be Washington Wizards day? Are you the number one member of the T.J. McConnell fan club and hate the heck out of Raul Neto? Well, allow me to rapid-fire a few more reasons why Washington should be your pick in tonight’s outing.

First, the Wizards actually have a name, which is better than another team who calls the area around our nation’s capital home. That’s pretty cool.

Do you want to know what else is cool? Wizards. From Harry Potter to Gandalf, and even that NSFW Mailorder Comedy music video, Wizards are objectively cool; much cooler than clerics, sorcerers, and even dare I say, warlocks.

Robin Lopez is on the team, and he’s a massive Disney fan. He and his brother own a house on Disney property, have compared themselves to Chip and Dale – who too are cool – and even returned stolen Disney memorabilia (Buzzy’s outfit) after unwittingly purchasing it at an auction. He’s also compared himself to Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons, which is objectively pretty cool too.

The Wizards also boast one of the more Metropolitan stadiums in the Eastern Conference, which just so happens to be a hop, skip, and a jump away from the City of Brotherly Love. If the Sixers land an adventurous time for Game 3 or 4, eager fans from South Jersey to Western Central Pa could catch a game without much issue.

Heck, fans in Delaware could theoretically even take Amtrak to the game if they see so fit; how flippin’ cool is that?

Granted, you’d have to cheer for a team who once beat the Sixers in the playoffs, all the way back in 1980, but that was when the team was called the Bullets, so does that really count? Considering the Washington Wizards have only made the playoffs nine times in my lifetime, I’d give that a resounding no.

For what it’s worth, Indiana defeated the Sixers in the playoffs as recently as 2000, and considering they were still called the Pacers at the time; you know it still counts.

Next. Landing Seth Curry was one of the better trades in Sixers franchise history. dark

Still not convinced? Well, maybe you’re right. Maybe the Philadelphia 76ers do matchup better against the Indiana Pacers and securing that bout better positions Joel Embiid, Ben Simmons, and company for success come Round 1, but for my money, it just makes more sense to take on a one-way team who just got demolished by the Boston Celtics than a scrappy collection of upstarts who hold the 2020-21 series at 1-2 which is one more win than the Washington Wizards were able to muster. Either way, Sixers in five (insert muscle SpongeBob Gif here).