Philadelphia Eagles: How to (temporarily) become a Buffalo Bills fan

The Buffalo Bills give off major ‘Philadelphia Eagles’ vibes.

If you are a diehard football fan in the City of Brotherly Love, you’re probably in a bit of a pickle.

With the Philadelphia Eagles‘ season officially over and the Philadelphia Soul disbanded for the foreseeable future, the prospects of catching new, live American football have become rather grim for the next six-eight months.

Sure, there’s always the NCAA, but after watching Ohio State and Alabama breeze past Clemson and Notre Dame respectively in the Sugar and Rose Bowls, there’s only one more contest on the books before a new crop of college players make their way from collegiate dorms to the bright lights of a digital NFL Draft – and it may be delayed ‘amid Ohio State COVID-19 concerns‘.

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*sigh* if only there was still NFL football to watch… oh wait, there is.

As tough as it is to admit, there very much is still NFL football to play for roughly the next month, as the biggest slate of playoff games is set to kick in for a super-sized Wildcard weekend. With three games on Saturday and three more on Sunday – one of which is being aired on Nickelodeon for… reasons(?) – six teams will keep their playoff hopes alive while six others will join the Eagles on an early vacation – well, not literally of course, because, ya know, social distancing.

But, you may ask, who on earth would a good green-blooded Philadelphian even root for if they happen to reluctantly watch a game or two this coming weekend? Washington? Goodness no, they almost ruined Doug Pederson‘s perfectly engineered tank with their general badness and don’t even have a name for crying out loud. What about the Seattle Seahawks? I mean sure, they knocked Carson Wentz – and by extension, the Eagles – out of the Wild Card game roughly a year ago, but they allowed Jadeveon Clowney to walk in free agency, so that’s all good, right? Then again, they did draft DK Metcalf, who really should be an Eagle, so thank you, next.

Folks, may I introduce you to your new (temporary) team, the Buffalo Bills.

Now I know, I know, blue. Gross. Cowboys colors. If that’s really a deal-breaker, I have a lightly used Kansas City Cheifs squad that you can easily bandwagon jump onto for a second Super Bowl run under Big Red, but hear me out on this one – in a way, the Buffalo Bills are just the AFC Eagles.

I mean, think about it, they have a former Eagles assistant as a head coach – Sean McDermott – they have a really good defensive front, and they even have the Jim Schwartz connection. Do you like Carson Wentz? I know you do. Well, Josh Allen is basically the AFC’s answer to Carson Wentz in that he has a huge arm, is from Middle America, and played at a school that doesn’t have another player in the NFL – save, of course, Marcus Epps. If you ever wanted to know what 2017 Wentz would have looked like with a legit number one receiver at his disposal, you are going to love watching Allen launching bombs to Stefon Diggs with our old friend Cole Beasley feasting on under routes a la fellow Texas staple Greg Ward.

Between you and me, I hear Buffalo even has a thing for regional culinary fare, as their wings are surely as ubiquitous as the cheesesteaks in mid-game b-roll packages.

Now granted, I know there aren’t really bars to go to at the moment, but if you’re a fan of the Philadelphia 76ers and happen to own a Ben Simmons/Joel Embiid/Jimmy Butler jersey, you can throw that on with a hoodie on top and boom, you practically have the perfect game day outfit to wear while eating Dominos pizza alone with your dog in your one-bedroom apartment… or you know, your situation.

Next. The Philadelphia Eagles don’t owe apologies to anyone. dark

Now sure, is their name as eye-rolling as it is charming? Sure (what even is a Bill? A cowboy? A male buffalo?). Are they free of a general manager like Howie Roseman, who seemingly can’t build a good roster without cursing the team to a bad one $70 million over the cap a few years down the line? That’d be a 10-4 good buddy. But are they a fun, plucky squad looking to put together a blue-collar run from a team desperate for a championship? That is, without a doubt, the case. While rooting for the Cheifs may be the easy, obvious choice, rooting for the Buffalo Bills just feels like the right thing to do, especially since their championship run will all but surely end in disappointment. In that regard, they couldn’t be more Philadelphia Eagles-y than the actual Philadelphia Eagles.

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