Philadelphia 76ers: Get hyped about ‘Protein’ Shake Milton

Expect Philadelphia 76ers-branded whey protein on a shelf near you.

Regardless of how you feel about Shake Milton‘s performance on the court, you have to admit he’s easily got the coolest nickname on the Philadelphia 76ers.

Is that a controversial take? Maybe so, but who, I rhetorically ask, has a better one? ‘The Process’ is certainly good, but Joel Embiid gave it to himself, so that doesn’t really count. What about ‘Tobi’, ‘The Fresh Prince’, or even ‘The Treegional Manager’-s? Again, all are varying degrees of good, but none hold a candle to Shake, a nickname given to Malik Benjamin Milton while still in utero by his father, Myrion ‘The Milkman Milton.

Well, after putting on 13 pounds of muscle heading into training camp – technically the second Sixers training camp of the calendar year – we may have to adjust the 24-year-old guard out of SMU’s nickname ever so slightly.

Don’t believe me? Well, check out this official pick of ‘Protein’ Shake Milton and judge for yourself.

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… yeah, you can’t really tell much from that picture other than that Milton has great taste in footwear.

Now, in theory, adding 13 pounds of muscle isn’t all that impressive. I mean, the actual process of putting on 13 pounds without going ham on bags on bags on bags of Taco Bell is actually very impressive, but in terms of functional weight, there are just as many 204-pound combo guards in the NBA who are supremely successful as there are 217 pounds combo guards. If Milton was, say, a wide receiver in the NFL or a power forward in hockey, this additional girth could be incredibly valuable for burst, durability, and explosion, but when you spend most of your day running for 15 seconds at a time before popping up for a J, it’s not particularly relevant.

It does, however, highlight a burning desire within Milton to come back ready to rock in his third NBA season – a fact that should, in turn, get fans of the Sixers even more irrationally hyped up for what should be one of the more exciting seasons in recent memory.

While we still don’t know exactly what role Milton will fill in 2020-21 – though it’s clear Doc Rivers is a huge fan of the player who once dropped 39 points on his Clippers – he certainly isn’t entering camp fighting for a roster spot with other fringe players like he was last summer. Barring a total reversal of fates, Milton will not make an appearance with the Blue Coats this season – unless he’s banging the gong before a game – and could even earn a starting role if he can beat out either Danny Green or Seth Curry for a backcourt spot next to Ben Simmons.

And if not? Well, Milton’s new chiseled frame may help him to power through traffic inside the arc and get a few more chances around the net paired up with the likes of Tyrese Maxey, and a new hairdo’d Matisse Thybulle.

Even if Shake Milton’s new physique is mostly an aesthetic improvement, his newfound fire, drive, and confidence could be just what the Doc ordered to get The Milkman’s son back to his mid-March form – which, obviously, is the best possible scenario for the Philadelphia 76ers in 2020-21.