Philadelphia 76ers: A chocolate milk flavored elegy for Al Horford

Goodbye Al Horford, your tenure with the Philadelphia 76ers was… weird.

Welp, it happened; it finally happened. After months of rumors, whispers, and the prayers of a La Colombe-soaked city, Al Horford is no longer a member of the Philadelphia 76ers.

Was Daryl Morey able to pull off the sort of massive, team swindling deal that lives on for years to come a la his protégé Sam Hinkie’s swindling of Vlade Divac and the Sacramento Kings? No, the Sixers actually had to give up a lightly protected first-round pick in 2025, 34 in the 2020 NBA Draft, and the rights to Vasilije Micic, but in return, they got Danny Green and Terrance Ferguson, a 22-year-old ex-first-round pick from 2017.

With Green and Ferguson set to hit the open market upon season’s end, the Sixers have suddenly freed up their salary cap situation considerably moving forward with a chance to actually sign a free agent or two before 2024

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But honestly, that’s not what really matters. Sure, Green will in all likelihood start this season and add some championship pedigree to Doc Rivers‘ rotation, but the key to this move was clearly to move off of Horford and free the team from the $109 million weight Elton Brand willingly placed on their shoulders a little over a year prior.

And just like that, it’s time to say goodbye.

Al Horford, if you’re reading this, good luck in OKC.

Though your tenure wasn’t particularly fruitful and involved more than a few moments we’d all like to forget, it was sort of fun, right? Remember that game where you scored 18 points against the Sacramento Kings? You were plus-41 in that game! Pretty cool. Or what about the time where you flinched waiting for a free throw? I know that’s happened a lot, but boy, it sure was fun the first time it happened in a red, white, and blue jersey.

You even got to debut the team’s 2019-20 City Edition jersey, a jersey that was alright but really underwhelmed compared to the 2018-19’s product.

Talk about relatable, am I right?

With our paths officially parting, it’s pretty safe to say you’ve left a pretty endearing legacy that will echo in the City of Brotherly Love for years to come. Don’t believe me? Well, rest assured, no one will wear a number 42 jersey around these parts any time soon to avoid comparisons to the Sixers’ ex-$109 million man. I also imagine the Sixers will be far more conservative with their roster construction moving forward, with backup players making backup money in designated backup roles, as opposed to your maverick-esque ability to switch from a starting five power forward to a backup five.

Heck, Elton Brand may never sign a free agent to a contract ever again, all because of you!

All jokes aside, this trade really is the best for everyone. With Steven Adams potentially on his way out of OKC as soon as tonight, you’ll likely be able to fill your traditional spot as a play-facilitating center and help young upstarts like Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and Kelly Oubre reach their potential as future NBA stars. Sure, having parody in the starting five with a guard sized guard playing guard will be nice for the Philadelphia 76ers, even if Danny Green will surely fall out of favor if he starts pulling that mess from the playoffs in the regular season. Still, it’s safe to say it won’t be the same.

Next. If Tyrell Terry is a dream, don’t wake me up. dark

Sincerely, fans of the Philadelphia 76ers.

Ps. I hear OKC has wonderful chocolate milk this time of year; I know it’s your favorite.