Welp, at least the Philadelphia Eagles aren’t the Dallas Cowboys

Think the Philadelphia Eagles have it bad? Check-in with the Dallas Cowboys.

They are a bad, bad, very not good, bad football team who aren’t particularly great at any one thing and are only really good at a few. Outside of about a dozen players, the team is comprised of ‘just a guy’-s at pretty much every position across the board.

Let’s just say when Travis Fulgham – who was making normal people money on the practice squad not one month ago – has to represent the team on the NFL’s official Thursday Night Football marquee you’re watching a team in slow-term crisis.

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Fortunately, the Eagles play in the NFC East, and their chief competition for the crown this year is rapidly imploding before our very eyes.

Sitting atop the division with a 2-3 record, the Dallas Cowboys are a team with a pretty good offense and one of the worst defenses in recent memory. Through the first six games of the season, they’ve surrendered the fifth-most total yards of any defense in the league at 2,460, the most 10th most overall passing yards at 1,420, and the second-most rushing yards at 1,040. The Cowboys have also given up with most points of any team in the league at 218 and an average of 36.3 points per game – 4.3 more than the next worst defensive team.

Granted, those defensive woes were largely offset by the team’s sheer offensive dominance through the first few weeks of the season but that clip went out the window as soon as Dak Prescott decimated his ankle with a brutal, Gordon Hayword-esque dislocation.

If all things were even, the Eagles and Cowboys would in all likelihood be brawling it out for a spot atop the division – possibly with a losing record – but in a weird twist of fate, things don’t seem all to happy down in Jerry World. No, if recent reports are to be believed, we may very well be approaching an all-out mutiny among the member of America’s team and their new coaching staff.

#Cowboys players initially bought into keeping things internal. Now as they sit 2-4 the discontent is leaking out. On the coaching staff “totally unprepared. They don’t teach. They don’t have any sense of adjusting on the fly.” Another “they just aren’t good at their jobs”
— Jane Slater (@SlaterNFL) October 20, 2020

But wait, it gets worse, according to Jon Machota, who covers the Cowboys for The Athletic, Mike McCarthy was quoted as saying “When you hit a part of a season where there’s negativity out there….you have to recognize it. I’ve always stated to every team I think it’s an important thing to handle it as men” and address it in house w/ those involved” on his call with the media.

And do you know who the real winner of this whole Dallas situation is? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not Andy Dalton.

Yeah, that’d be your hometown Philadelphia Eagles.

Say what you will about the Eagles’ inability to, ya know, actually win games, but at least the team plays hard each and every week. For what it’s worth, the players genuinely seem to like each other and Jalen Mills explicitly praised Jim Schwartz for standing with his players after a particularly tough outing against the Los Angeles Rams.

Even with the team having started at least one new player in each week this season, the Eagles continue to press on as a unit, even as their starting quarterback is being decimated on a weekly basis by an increasingly unconventional offensive line now featuring an ROTC instructor and a dude more concerned with adjusting his gloves than actually competing to the whistle.

That, my friends, is why the Eagles are at least trending in the right direction ever so slightly, whereas the Cowboys could very realistically finish out the season with a 5-11 record – assuming, of course, that the New York Giants go winless to close out the Daniel Jones-era versus Dallas.

Gosh, you just hate to see it.