Philadelphia 76ers: Michael Jordan would have hated Ben Simmons

If ESPN’s ‘The Last Dance’ is of any indication, Michael Jordan would have hated playing with the Philadelphia 76ers’ supersized point guard, Ben Simmons.

Are you watching ‘The Last Dance’ on ESPN? I know this has nothing to do with the Philadelphia 76ers, but my goodness, what a clutch decision by the ‘Wide World of Sports’ to push up the airing of their 10-part documentary on the Chicago Bulls‘, well, last dance from June to April.

Basketball may not be on at the moment, but reminiscing on the glory days of 90s NBA and that generation’s insane fits both on and off the court has helped to numb that pain to a dull, but ever-present bummer.

The way the doc seamlessly weaves together highlights, interviews, and near-unbelievable documentary footage is exquisite and may allow the film to ultimately dethrone ‘Hoop Dreams’ as the best documentary – maybe film in general – about the great sport of basketball.

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But you know what’s stuck with me while tuning in week after week to see the goings-on of Michael Jordan, Steve Kerr, and Scotty Pippin? His Airness would have hated playing with Ben Simmons.

I mean think about it; Jordan literally punched Kerr in his face during a practice, and they were teammates. Granted, it happened not too long after his father’s untimely passing but my goodness, that is not a man you want to cross.

Granted, Jordan probably would have hated playing with pretty much every player on the 76ers, and in the modern NBA in general, but Simons rises to the top of his ‘not a fan’ list based on his laissez-faire attitude on the court.

You see, Jordan’s competitiveness is borderline legendary at this point. From his gambling habits, to his absolute take over of a Dream Team practice in the leadup to the 1992 Olympics, Spike Lee’s compadre’s ‘Give me 100 percent effort or get out’ attitude would have clashed so hard with Simmons’ easygoing demeanor.

I mean, could you even imagine prime Jordan letting Simmons’ unwillingness to comply with Brett Brown‘s request to take at least one 3 pointer a game? Ask the Golden State Warriors‘ head coach how MJ handles even a whiff of a teammate not buying in. Heck, even as an Owner, Jordan whopped one of his players, Malik Monk, on the head during a game for celebrating a little too early.

Factor in Simmons’ high usage rate and it’s hard to imagine a single-season passing before Jordan would march right into Jerry Krause‘s office and demand one of the two be traded regardless of the 6-foot-10 guard/forward’s elite defensive versatility. Though, based on Jordan’s interactions with Krause in ‘The Last Dance’ I could also see him willing Simmons to league MVP status just to spite his former front office executive.

The hatred between those two is palpable.

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Now to be fair, just because Ben Simmons doesn’t fall into the very specific brand of basketballer Michael Jordan likes to associate with doesn’t mean he’s a bad player. Simmons is a two-time All-Star who very well could find his bust in the same Hall of Fame as Air Jordan when he eventually retires in, like 2035, but he just isn’t the type of dude who delivers fresh knuckle sandwiches to teammates who don’t give max effort in practice, if you know what I mean.