Philadelphia 76ers: Joel Embiid divulges his official Shirley Temple recipe

With a full summer to prepare for the Philadelphia 76ers’ pivotal 2019-20 season, Joel Embiid found a little time to divulge his Shirley Temple recipe.

While many (myself included) hoped that Joel Embiid would spend his summer vacation away from the Philadelphia 76ers in the gym getting in superstar shape, he’s instead opted to further his entrepreneurial efforts with some brand new branded content with Pepsi Co’s neon green stepchild Mountain Dew.

I guess he can technically do both, but after looking noticeably out of shape down the stretch in 2018-19, advertising a soda (even one with a ‘splash of real juice’) feels like an odd play.

But hey, why be negative? The commercial is hilarious, slightly off-beat, and most importantly of all divulges Embiid’s personal recipe for his signature drink: the Shirley Temple.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B0PSZ12JFCf/

See what I mean? In the first (and probably only) episode of Embiid’s Shirley Temple Making Show, annoyingly split over two slides, ‘The Process’ himself divulges the secret recipe to his favorite drink – albeit with the slightly unorthodox addition of Mountain Dew Ice.

To start things off, Embiid pours grenadine over ice – but unlike a traditional Shirley that uses one ounce of grenadine for every eight ounces of soda (even parts ginger ale and lemon-lime), Embiid pours an entire bottle (presumably a 12-ounce bottle) into an ice-filled pitcher. Embiid then pours an indiscriminate amount of Mountain Dew Ice and about a dozen cherries over the top to create a devil red concoction that is sure to create cavities on impact.

But, you may ask, how much of Mountain Dew’s crisp, refreshing Ice does Mr. Embiid top off his mocktail with?

Well, fortunately, like any ethical corporation, Mountain Dew included a recipe at the end for fans like yours truly who wanted to try the drink at home.

Unfortunately, it’s pretty vague.

According to Dew, Joel’s recipe is as follows:

• Ice – Some
• Grenadine – 1 Bottle
• MTN DEW ICE – 1/2 Bottle
• Cherries* – 12

*Don’t forget them.

But wait, does Embiid really want fans in the 215 to make a Shirley Temple with 12 ounces of grenadine and 10 ounces of Mountain Dew? Could he maybe mean half of a two-liter (32 ounces)? And how many calories would a 22-ounce grenadine-Dew combo even contain?

Well, if we really do commit to the theory that Embiid used only 10 ounces of Dew vs. 12 ounces of grenadine (plus 12 cherries) we’d end up with 1,136 calories – 960 from grenadine, 80 from the Dew, and 96 from the 12 cherries.

Wow.

Now I know a professional athlete has to take in a whole lot more calories than us common folks, but I imagine it’d be pretty darn hard to get ripped drinking Joely Temples with any consistency.

But is the drink worth trying as an occasional treat?

No, of course not.

Whether the recipe was meant to be taken as biting satire (like this article), or JoJo has the sweetest tooth in the City of Brotherly Love, his signature drink is sickly sweet and almost impossible to down in one sitting (maybe the Sixers could make it a challenge at games?).

If you want to partake in a Shirley Temple as we inch closer and closer to the 2019-20 NBA season, might I suggest using Joel Embiid’s previous recipe from his original Philadelphia 76ers All-Star game push – it still holds up even if you sub out the Mist Twist for Mountain Dew Ice.